I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
