I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Randomize
