Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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