My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
