girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
