we have pet lesbian snakes
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
How's work?
Spinning.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
