they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
