24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
