Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm both gender and math confused
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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