who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
