I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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