They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
