I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
