just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Reggie can tackle my bush.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
