You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
