too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize