I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Fuck appropriateness.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
