We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
