I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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