Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
where are my eyebrows?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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