I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
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she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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