I wish I could punch you in the face.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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