I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
