dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Don't make out with my wife yet
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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