your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
