You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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