Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
