I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize