i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
