So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
