I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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