It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
