it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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