Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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