Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Randomize
