I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
