Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
