IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
