he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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