I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
