Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
