she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
