so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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