omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
