i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I could fuck to npr.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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