big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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