I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
