I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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