see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
