I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
