can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize