My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
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She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize