he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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