So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
