if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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