the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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