I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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