Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
