in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Congratulations! We have a period
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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