...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
The uberlube is also flammable
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
