How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
