just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
