Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass

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  (215): I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass http://tfl.nu/6mwp
  Replies (14) Good night (3956) Bad night (1116)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord

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  (570): i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord http://tfl.nu/ym53
  Replies (10) Good night (2914) Bad night (771)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.

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  (832): If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs. http://tfl.nu/152p
  Replies (9) Good night (2440) Bad night (522)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.

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  (512): You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore. http://tfl.nu/p34m
  Replies (8) Good night (1276) Bad night (3250)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf

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  (503): My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf http://tfl.nu/5frw
  Replies (28) Good night (1371) Bad night (7181)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.

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  (440): He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am. http://tfl.nu/6rv7
  Replies (13) Good night (4182) Bad night (861)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed

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  (631): I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed http://tfl.nu/2zh5
  Replies (9) Good night (2723) Bad night (912)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing

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  (785): he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing http://tfl.nu/bfcf
  Replies (2) Good night (3550) Bad night (976)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.

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  (306): I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards. http://tfl.nu/0ymc
  Replies (10) Good night (2060) Bad night (1255)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.

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  (407): Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary. http://tfl.nu/ntpi
  Replies (4) Good night (1878) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better

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  (715): I haven't seen her in ages, how is she? (651): Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better http://tfl.nu/q7yr
  Replies (5) Good night (2170) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.

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  (434): Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night. http://tfl.nu/fru6
  Replies (17) Good night (723) Bad night (1208)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.

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  (714): I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented. http://tfl.nu/mdds
  Replies (1) Good night (715) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.

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  (207): She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head. http://tfl.nu/qg4m
  Replies (0) Good night (536) Bad night (279)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.

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  (727): Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers. http://tfl.nu/8gxv
  Replies (1) Good night (635) Bad night (147)

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