Texts From Last Night

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  (804): View more from Virginia

  im drinking this country out of the recession.

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  (804): im drinking this country out of the recession. http://tfl.nu/s99f
  Replies (23) Good night (2266) Bad night (627)
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  (909): View more from California

  It's Friday. Sex?

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  (909): It's Friday. Sex? http://tfl.nu/22he
  Replies (19) Good night (4737) Bad night (752)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...

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  (208): I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows... http://tfl.nu/dubx
  Replies (262) Good night (2214) Bad night (40802)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.

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  (678): I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom. http://tfl.nu/95nr
  Replies (18) Good night (2242) Bad night (4180)
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  (585): View more from New York

  there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk

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  (585): there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk http://tfl.nu/9sjy
  Replies (21) Good night (1668) Bad night (3990)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go

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  (410): There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go http://tfl.nu/lquj
  Replies (1) Good night (2463) Bad night (797)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.

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  (479): Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band. http://tfl.nu/kt6h
  Replies (3) Good night (2669) Bad night (1144)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.

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  (606): I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships. http://tfl.nu/4vx4
  Replies (10) Good night (1296) Bad night (1353)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.

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  (814): Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone. http://tfl.nu/n7df
  Replies (4) Good night (2531) Bad night (762)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom

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  (616): Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom http://tfl.nu/kxki
  Replies (3) Good night (1533) Bad night (729)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.

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  (813): I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex. http://tfl.nu/7adn
  Replies (2) Good night (2007) Bad night (999)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.

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  (705): I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep. http://tfl.nu/bmha
  Replies (3) Good night (696) Bad night (1136)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup

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  (812): You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup http://tfl.nu/kydl
  Replies (4) Good night (453) Bad night (624)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?

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  (+61): So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma? http://tfl.nu/bhgl
  Replies (3) Good night (499) Bad night (718)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.

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  (617): Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest. http://tfl.nu/hwpt
  Replies (2) Good night (668) Bad night (469)

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