Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I just made out with a guy for $7.

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(305): View more from Florida

My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.

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(328): View more from

im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?

(1-328): View more from

anal.

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(352): View more from Florida

my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(256): View more from Alabama

I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.

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(713): View more from Texas

He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.

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(707): View more from California

she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute

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(936): View more from Texas

You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific

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(320): View more from Minnesota

Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?

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