Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love

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  (540): she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love http://tfl.nu/im7c
  Replies (9) Good night (1557) Bad night (573)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.

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  (410): I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night. http://tfl.nu/l8h9
  Replies (14) Good night (2143) Bad night (620)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you

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  (425): if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you http://tfl.nu/ohu0
  Replies (13) Good night (5476) Bad night (1184)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars

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  (228): There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars http://tfl.nu/ue2i
  Replies (4) Good night (3216) Bad night (868)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.

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  (509): walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her. http://tfl.nu/knz9
  Replies (9) Good night (5831) Bad night (759)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.

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  (210): We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do. http://tfl.nu/emf3
  Replies (6) Good night (1052) Bad night (655)
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  (909): View more from California

  If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis

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  (909): If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis http://tfl.nu/ldcq
  Replies (2) Good night (1762) Bad night (627)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.

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  (732): Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train. http://tfl.nu/hytn
  Replies (4) Good night (946) Bad night (473)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.

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  (404): Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire. http://tfl.nu/nkea
  Replies (3) Good night (1022) Bad night (475)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.

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  (250): Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom. http://tfl.nu/94fe
  Replies (6) Good night (792) Bad night (923)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.

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  (706): i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house. http://tfl.nu/5m3i
  Replies (1) Good night (724) Bad night (740)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College

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  (814): I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College http://tfl.nu/y7mj
  Replies (2) Good night (791) Bad night (282)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD

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  (928): HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD http://tfl.nu/9xyp
  Replies (6) Good night (226) Bad night (407)
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  (760): View more from California

  Mom just told me I need to start having sex.

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  (760): Mom just told me I need to start having sex. http://tfl.nu/r76g
  Replies (4) Good night (485) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.

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  (425): You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five. http://tfl.nu/8p92
  Replies (1) Good night (475) Bad night (132)

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