As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
