Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.

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(914): View more from New York

she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.

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(713): View more from Texas

I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.

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Read it at the TFLN blog
(609): View more from New Jersey

He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR

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(516): View more from New York

Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment

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(219): View more from Indiana

I gave him a HANDJOB.

(219): View more from Indiana

But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?

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(406): View more from Montana

why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?

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