Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well