Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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