she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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