I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
