I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
