god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
