I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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