Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
