He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
