You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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