why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
