with your own penis?
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
