i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
