I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize