Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
you would pick up someone in the library
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
